Discover the incredible journey of turning five childhood and workplace criticisms into a thriving business dedicated to combating systemic injustice and empowering a team of professionals to revolutionize communities!
Growing up, I was always told I was "too much" or "too little" of something. My middle school children face the same challenges today, bombarded with messages that they're too loud, too aggressive, or too opinionated. As a parent raising Black children in America, I combat these narratives with daily affirmations, knowing these critiques won't disappear.
I was labeled "too quiet," "too shy," "too thoughtful," "too emotional," and "too mature." These labels were hard to shake during my formative years. In high school and college, I hid behind the label of an introvert, avoiding attention and focusing on academic success. It was the immigrant mindset: work hard, stay silent, and secure a stable future.
Today, I facilitate dialogues, advocate, debate, and speak against injustice. My career, built with a team of ten, thrives on speaking up and challenging the status quo. I believe our struggle with labels stems from societal boxes meant to confine us. Embracing our "too much" or "too little" can lead to incredible personal and professional growth.
I never fit in, and that was my strength. I didn't see the world like everyone else because I was meant to change it. If you relate to being labeled "too much" or "too little," consider it a gift. Here are some of my experiences:
Too quiet, shy, introverted. I was never the kid on the playground to strike up a conversation with another or a group and to this day, I am likely not the one at the holiday party trying to meet everyone. I truly enjoy a good book or tv series rerun in the house and on the couch, with all the curtains closed. I preferred solitude and avoided large groups, feeling socially anxious. While I have learned the importance of connection, yes, I will push myself to greet others and ask them about their day. I also see the power of being an introvert. We are acutely aware of our thoughts and so we don’t just speak but we think about our thoughts (metacognition) and we try to say things with intention. I once had a grad school professor say to me, “You may be the last to speak in class but you always say the thing that everyone remembers.” I learned to harness my introversion, using it to speak with intention and make memorable contributions.
Too mature. In my senior year of high school, I was voted “Most Mature”. This one has always been true. The reality is I had a lot of responsibility at a young age. I was the older sibling (6 years older) to my younger sister and my mom was a single mom working 2-3 jobs. I was very connected to my family’s immigration story from Belize, Central America. Knowing that we fought hard to be in this country made me acutely aware of not putting myself at risk of missed opportunities. This maturity helped me build my company and advocate for marginalized communities.
Too emotional. Women and girls get this gendered description that I often take issue with. Now that I am older and wiser, I describe this superpower as being emotionally intelligent and I let it guide me more than facts and figures. My emotional intelligence (coupled with spiritual faith) allows me to not have to prepare the way others choose to and it has gotten me into rooms to be advisors to some of the country's most influential people. I’m not saying do not work hard and fight for doors to be opened, but I am saying that when you have done all that you can, trust your inner gut, intuition, or your spiritual flow. I have made major business decisions just having the feeling that it was the “right thing to do” even when it did not make sense to anyone else. So while I do believe that any good leader knows how to manage their emotions, I trust that my emotions are real, then I use sound judgment, trusted advisors, and my soul to guide me the rest of the way. Emotional intelligence guided me through major decisions and it’s a skill now highly valued in leadership.
Too collaborative. I truly believe that any effective leader knows they do not have all the answers and never will. Instead, effective leaders know how to ask the right questions and guide their teams. Old school ways of management (notice I said management, not leadership) places value on a top down approach. I always think about how limiting this approach is and no one great gets to any level of success alone.
Too lofty: I wanted to end with this one because I realize this opinion is one of the number one ways I felt different growing up. My ideas were always big. I just never really saw a challenge as a roadblock but something to be figured out. When I saw unhoused people on the street or the sale of drugs between neighborhood folks, I remember not understanding but I wanted to. I knew there were reasons it was happening but I also felt like there had to be solutions. This mindset, also known as a global mindset, led me to study political science and social work, and develop comprehensive strategies for systemic issues. Growing up, I wish I would have known that this gift to the world would be called “strategy”.
Being strategic and addressing pressing issues has been my most gratifying work. My "weird" and "awkward" traits growing up became my strengths as a leader and entrepreneur. Not fitting in was essential for my calling.
Embrace Your "Too Much"
Explore the ways you don't fit in and embrace your "too much" or "too little." Your uniqueness is your strength. Embrace it, harness it, and use it to propel yourself forward. The very traits that others might see as flaws could be the keys to your success.
Being "too much" isn't a weakness; it's a superpower and a gift. And in the world of business, superpowers are what create extraordinary success.
So, what's your "too much," and how can it set you apart in your career or growing your business?
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